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A Crack in the Floor(2000)

Rating out of 5 possible lobsters :
 

 

 

If someone was to tell me I'd award a movie with four lobsters that starred  Mario Lopez yesterday I probably would have laughed in their face. I can't say  how surprised I was by how good A Crack in the Floor was. It's by no means a  great oscar winning movie. But as far as a campy horror movies goes this movies scores an A grade!

The movie is about a man named Jeremiah Hill who lives in the basement of an old cabin in the woods. It was his family's cabin in the beginning. After his father died his mother  was brutally raped and murdered leaving poor Jeremiah Hill to fend for himself. Before his  mother was murdered she told Jeremiah that he must stay at the cabin and never accept the outside world because it was evil. They would remain in seclusion until the Second Coming came and  took them to heaven. Now 33 years later, Jeremiah lurks in the basement of his cabin  still shut out from the outside world and with his mother's brutal raping and murder on his mind.  A pair of horny hikers, a sheriff and a large group of hiking friends all make a wrong turn in the woods and enter in on Jeremiah's cabin. Jeremiah not liking anyone from the  outside world of course gives them all the hospitality he thinks they deserve!

I really dug this flick! The acting was very good(Mario Lopez rules haaha) for a campy horror movie, all the girls were hot and we even get some top notch nudity(although fast it's still top notch),  it wasn't a text book slahser at all. You couldn't guess who would be killed or spared.  Unlike most horror movies you can usually tell who will survive or be killed right off the bat. And the story was pretty cool as well. The opening scene with Jeremiah and his mother is very disturbing. A mother being raped and murdered as her son looks on is never fun to see. Although the scene was disturbing it set up a good premise for the film. Makes  us understand why Jeremiah is the way he is even more. Another bright spot for the movie is the ending. I won't give it away. Let's just say it was good for a change compared to more tradional in the woods slasher films(ie Friday the 13th).

I also loved the pace of the movie. It never slowed down or got boring. Instead  a couple cool side scenes were thrown in. One, the group of hiking friends stop at a  red neck garage and mingle with the local hicks. They end up getting a bucket  of fried chicken from the garage but little do they know where it came from. Very funny scene. Also there is a scene where a ghost story is told and it was actually really cool.

Mario Lopez has come a long way since he days at Belmont High with Screech and Zack. Be sure to check thiss one out!

Henry's Comments

 "Mmmmm Mario Lopez's red headed girl... MMmmmmm she's bootylicious! "