Bats

 

 

Bats(1999)

Rating out of 5 possible lobsters :
 

 

 

Holy fuck it was worse then I thought. Many of you may recall my prediction review of Bats(prediction review) which I did just before the film was released last October. Well I was way off. This movie doesn't suck, it fucking sucks! Lou Diamond Phillips might as well just pack it in and do Latino Porno's under the screen name Lacumba Lopez. Bats is a copy of all other horror movies where there is some sort of swarm of killing animals or insects. Not since Deadly Invasion have I seen one this bad though. Let's get to the plot... People are being mauled and killed by swarms of insane bats. Turns out the bats are sort of genetically altered by this prefessor dude and they are out of control. All you see during the whole movie is swarms of bats attacking people and the people trying to come up with a plot to destroy the bats before the military comes in and blows up the whole area. I would have liked to see the military blow up the area myself and maybe even the movie set but the bat specialists in the movie(batologists...yeah whatever) don't want the military involved as they fear they won't kill them all. So anyway you know what happens...the bat specialists along with Sheriff Lou Diamond What's His Name save the day and finish off the bats before the military can start blowing some batass away! Everything in this movie has already been done... There's one scene where Latino Lou Diamond Los Lobos and the female batologist are trapped in a truck where a huge swarm of killer bats are trying to break in and kill them. Of course they start to break into the trcuk through the exhaust system and such (they are pretty smart bats, the director trained them at Midas Mufflers before the intense trcuk scene!) and of course the 2 barely escape with their lives...fuck seen it before!  Oh and by the way the bats themseleves are horrible looking and I don't mean horribly scary...I mean horribly fake!  They look like left over puppets that didn't make the cut from all the Goulies movies.

Henry's Comments

 "Worst movie I've seen since I joined the HMTS team. The only good part is seeing Lou Diamond Phillips swimming in batshit!"

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