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Blood Dolls

Rating out of 5 possible lobsters :



Fullmoon Pictures has become more of a toy store then a good movie producer over the past 10 years!  Blood Dolls is agony. It is basically a new Puppet Master movie with new puppets who are now referred to as dolls instead of puppets. A billionare, Virgil, is found guilty in an  anti-trust case and loses all his fortunes to 2 other competitors. Virgil turns the judge  and a couple of other legal people who screwed up his trial into Blood Dolls! Oh god anything  but that!!! Please Virgil...I beg of you :P He like puts these people into a machine and  they turn into Dolls who will now carry out Virgil's dirty work which is revenge against his  competitors who rigged his trial! Oh yeah Virgil is a freak...he has a tiny head and a normal body so he wears a mask sometimes to make himself look normal. He has a side kick named Mascarrio  who wears clown make up constantly, he has a midget butler type person and 4 babes locked in a cage who play music on Virgil's command. Damn fine looking ladies which is strange since they all live in a small cage and they didn't appear to even have a washroom...those silly Hollywood movie makers! Ok so basically after Virgil creates his 3 puppets...shit I mean dolls...he sends them out to kill  his comeptitors and they do just that. The one competitor who Virgil thinks is his  toughest oppontent is actually an idiot and is taking orders from his wife Moira who the real brains behind their business. Virgil doesn't realize this until the end so his dolls don't do their job and kill all his competitors but that's ok as Moira decides to stop by Virgil's place and offer to team up with him so they can dominate the world as a pair! Yeah so they get married  and then something weird happens...the movie had 2 ending the dolls attack Moria after the  wedding and everyone dies from a killer gas except for the 4 girls in the cage and the dolls who all escape!??!...and the  secind ending which has the wedding finishing and everyone happy in the end. This movie just sucked the big one... the dolls hardly moved and they looked more like He-Man action figures more then anything else. All they moved were their heads and arms. It looked very tacky!!! Also the body count and killing scenes were disappointing. The dolls looked to stupid for any of the killings to seem remotley frightening. Oh and don't forget to visit and order the Blood Doll action figures!!! Yeah like that is  going to happen!!! Fuck you Full Moon!!! They are probably selling the girls in the cage playing music as a soundtrack!!! Don't order that unless you want to hear something that sounds like Joan Jett  meets Tiffany meets the front end of a Mac truck. Brutal shit!!!

Henry's Comments

 "Some nights after I finish with my blow up doll she's a blood doll too!"