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Children of the Corn : Revelation(2001)

Rating out of 5 possible lobsters :

 

 

"The All-New, Terror-Filled Chapter"

Terror filled chapter my ass! This may just be the worst bad movie I have ever seen! I'm issuing an  official HMTS rental alert on this piece if shit! DO NOT RENT CHILDREN OF THE CORN : REVELATION!!!!!

This better be the last Children of the Corn movie. You can only milk the fact that  the series is based on a Stephen King novel for so long! Some hot chick named Jamie(she looks a bit like  Lita from the WWF...ohhh yeah!) comes to a small town to visit her Grandmother but when she gets to her apartment she has already disappeared. Yeah so Jamie decides to stay at her place and wait for her but of course she never shows up. All Jamie sees is a couple of bad acting kids who seem to appear everywhere  she goes. Soon all the people in the apartment building start to disappear. The strange children place  corn decorations on each tenant's door and then dispose of their sorry asses! Of course Jamie ends up being the last  person alive in the building and she must fight for her life against a bunch of bad acting brats.

Honestly I'm not 100% sure what this movie was about. Something to do with Jamie's Grandmother surviving a tent fire back in the days when she use to be in the Children of the Corn. Now the souls of the  children who died in that fire are back for her and her Granddaughter Jamie. Jamie's parents also died in a fire so i'm assuming what happened to them had something to do with the brats in this movie. Some  sort of punishment on Jamie's Grandmother for escaping the tent fire?!?! Who the fuck knows or gives a sweet fuck for that matter! I'd rather have my toe nails pulled out then have to watch this again!

Kids and horror movies don't mix. Children of the Corn : Revelation reminds us why kids should not be  seen nor heard. If you must watch this movie keep an eye out for the awful death  scenes. In one part, a kid drops corn seeds into a tub with a hot naked chick named Tiffany, next thing you know Tiffany is being eaten by a giant corn stock. Awful! Oh yeah and one more thing... The back of the movie box said 1hr30mins  but by my watch it was only around 78 minutes long. Fucking rip off! Refund please!

Henry's Comments

 "Jamie, please take it off..."