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Children of the Living Dead(2001)

Rating out of 5 possible lobsters :

 

 

Well the box looked promising and it does star Tom Savini(well sort of) but believe me Children of the Living Dead is far from good!

I don't know where to start. This movie had more bad horror movie cliches and awful acting then I have ever seen in my life! It's rare that you come across something so bad that you wonder how anyone could read the script and decide to actually fund the making of the movie.

It all begins 14 years in the past, Hughes, played by Savini, is part of a law enforcement team that is blowing the sweet fuck out of tons of young teenage zombies. After saving some children from a home belonging to a zombie character named Abbott Hayes, Hughes is killed(so much for  Savini being in the movie!) and the movie jumps 14 years years ahead. Now we have a van full of teenagers  on their way to the area and of course they all start talking about the area being cursed by Abbott Hayes  and the how he turns children into zombies. Hayes ends up causing the van to crash and all the teens die.  And yes, incase you are wondering, they all end up to be his bitch teen zombies to do his bidding! Ok, so now the movie jumps one more year in the future and we have this geek who is opening a car dealership  on the graveyard and is moving all the bodies from one area to another to make room. It's not long before the workers realize that some of the coffins are empty and others contain people who were half dead and then burried alive by Abbott Hayes himself. *The movie was so shitty at this point I started to black out  and probably can't even tell what exactly happened but i'll try* The geek guy who is opening the dealership  meets a girl at a local diner and it turns out she was one of the children saved by Hughes in the beginning  from Haye's house. So anyway... the children from the van are now all zombies and they start to attack everyone in the movie for some reason or another. This goes on for awhile and then the movie ends showing that Abbott Hughes is still alive so watch out for a straight to video sequel sometime in the future!

First off this movie DOES NOT star Tom Savini! He's in it for 10 minutes and all he does is blow zombie's heads off with every sort of gun you can imagine. Don't believe the movie box! Secondly, the acting, story, plot...etc are NOT any good at all! The movie has more holes then Samantha Fox's 80s nylons!  This movie is so awful I wouldn't recommend that anyone check it out. The first 10 minutes with  Tom Savini are ok but not enough to make the rest of the flick any good. The gore  is the only bright spot in the whole movie. Which reminds me, for anyone that has seen this or plans on seeing it... what is up with Abbott Hayes? He is the worst looking zombie I have seen since laying eyes on that movie Zombie Lake where all the zombies did was wear green paint. Abbott  Hayes has these zombie hands that look like that monster hands you buy at Walmart for Halloween  that are always 10 sizes too big! Also, his face looked like a rip off of Ash's zombie face from  Evil Dead 2! AWFUL!

Henry's Comments

 "Sweet Jesus! What the fuck is up with Children of the Living Dead?!?!?!?"