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Eyes of the Werewolf 3D(1999)

Rating out of 5 possible lobsters :
 

No rating can do it justice!!!

 

Oh my! You won't believe your eyes or ears is all I can say! Throw on a pair of steroscopic  3D glasses and let the ultimate 3D experience in pure agony begin!

What do you get when you take a dozen horrible actors, a man who has eye implants that just happen to belong to a werewolf, a werewolf mask and gloves from Walmart, a horny red headed nurse with the most perfect tits I have ever seen, a midget who studies the occult, a lesbian  detective, a cheating wife and a Kia Sportage and put them all in a 3D movie? Any idea? Me neither!

Well the good news is it's only 70 some minutes long and about 15-10 minutes of that time the red headed nurse(Sondra) screwing the werewolf man(Rich)! Her tits will make you ignore the fact that she still has her thong on while fucking Rich. If she was on top of me I think I'd blow my man batter as well with clothes still on. But anyway...  Rich, gets eye implants after a 'horrible' accident with some acids. The eyes of course belonged to a werewolf before. Hahaha yep pretty funny! Once Rich has the surgery, fucks Sondra in his recovery bed, and heals he goes home to  find that his wife has been cheating on him with his best friend. Why he cares I don't know... the guy just fucked his nurse but anyway... Ok so of course the first night he is back home it just happens to be a fullmoon... wait a minutes... come to think about it... every night in the movie was a fullmoon?!!!? Only in the movies I tell ya! Basically everynight in the  movie Rich turns into a werewolf and goes out and does some killing! He soon realizes that he has been killing people around  him and with a 'little' help from a crazy midget guy he discovers that the eyes he was given are causing him to turn into a werewolf!!! Oh my Lord!!! It's up to Rich to find out how he could have received a pair of werewolf eyes and get revenge on the people who made him star in this awful movie before Sondra ends up licking carpet with the detective who is after him and before their Kia Sportage's Road Side Assisstance Warranty is up!!! Hang on for  one suspenseful ride!!!

Don't even get me started on this... You need to see it to believe it! The 3D effects are pretty cool and so is  seeing Sondra naked in 3D but the rest is just a joke. Good flick to watch with a group of friends. Tell everyone you have a very scary movie to show them... get them all pumped up and then throw this in! You'll never see or hear from your friends again! The first time you see Rich make the transition from man to man with mask and gloves on you can throw away your ab rollers! This is not a horror movie! This is a God damn work out video! Abs in 72 Minutes! Gut Busting humor!

Other mention worthy scene... Guy standing on a log bridge... gets shot 3 times in the head and doesn't fall over until he is dead after the last shot! Now that's balance!

Click here to buy the 3D equipment to watch this movie...

Henry's Comments

 "Fuck Rich and his werewolf eye implants! I want to know if Sondra has implants or are those puppies real???"