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Friday the 13th Part 9 AKA Jason Goes To Hell

Rating out of 5 possible lobsters :
 

 

 

Hmmmm ok in Part 8 Jason was melted with toxic waste yet he is back for another flick? Well lucky us... this movie has nothing to do with part 8 or with of the others either. The movie starts this woman hanging around Crystal lake. She gets naked(what else would you expect), gets a shower and next thing you know  Jason his chasing her! She lures him out into a field where he gets the shit shot out of him by the  US Army. Why didn't they just fucking do that about 8 movies ago? Anyway...they blow him to pieces and take his remaining parts to be studied. While at the lab one of the doctors is haunted by Jason's  spirit I guess and forces him to eat his heart. Now Jason is actually the doctor! So for pretty much the whole movie Jason's spirit travels from body to body as he is trying to find his living blood relative. When he finds this person he will transfer himself and be reborn.  Sounds pretty good eh? Well not really. The only good thing about this movie was the extreme  violence and nudity! The movie is very dark and unfunny. So unfunny infact you can't make fun of it.  It's just violent and stupid...the ending is especially stupid! Fuck Freddy's glove grabbing Jason's mask! Don't get me started on Freddy! Damn!  I wouldn't really call it a Friday the 13th movie especially since you only see the actual Jason for about 5 minutes. Get the directors cut for a good time!

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