Retro Puppet Master
Rating out of 5 possible lobsters :
Absolutely brutal! I remeber seeing Puppet Master part 2/3 and was amazed by how cool they were! What the
hell happened! This is like the seventh Puppet Master movie so firstly the people at Fullmoon Pictures(fullmoonpictures.com) are really milking the series for all it's worth!
This latest movie is once again about Andre Toulon and his little fucked up puppets. I could have sworn part 3
enlightened us on how Toulon gave the puppets life but for some reason Retro Puppet Master needs to tell us
once again and strangely enough it's a whole new story...interesting...do you think we are stupid Fullmoon
Pictures(fullmoonpictures.com)? This time it goes back to when Toulon is a young lad working in a theatre
where he entertains the locals with his crappy puppet shows. Some 3000 year old guy(Afzel) ends up telling
Toulon the secret of life that he stole in Cairo where he can make unliving things living! There are 3 really bad
acting guys in black trench coats chasing after the 3000 year old guy so Toulon ends up learning the secret of
life so when the 3000 is killed someone will be able to keep the secret alive...awwww how sweet. Anyway the
3 bad acting bad guy kill the 3000 year old Afzel and Toulon's staff at his theatre while he away. Toulon comes
back and takes all their dead bodies and transfers their lives into his puppets. I think I'd rather go to hell then
live eternity as a retro puppet working for Fullmoon Pictures(fullmoonpictures.com)! After killing Afzel and
Toulon's buddies the 3 bad guys realize Toulon knows the secret of life so they need to kill him as well. Their
first attempt to kill Toulon fails and one of the bad guys is even killed. Nothing worse then being killed by badly
animated puppets! Now the 2 bad guys left over decide to kidnap Toulon's woman and hold her hostage so
Toulon will come and try to rescue her. Yeah so he does just that... him and his puppets kick the remining 2 bad guy's asses and all is once again well with the world.
People don't rent this shit. It is not humorous in anyway...it has no nudity...the acting is horrid... the plot is
awful...the puppets look like barbie dolls and when they move all they do is move their arms up and down and
shake their heads... etc and etc. Also for the first 15 minutes of the video tape FullmoonPictures advertises itself
so many times it almost made me sick...they want you to log on to the net and buy their little toys! They don't
care about the movie they make...they just want to sell toys! Don't be a fool and fall for this shit! It's easy to tell
almost no thought goes into the current movies they have released! Also check out my review for their other latest film Blood Dolls!
"When the movie actually started I was brainwashed by their websites that I didn't
care what I was watching! I just logged onto fullmoonpictures.com and fullmoontoys.com and ordered everything they told me to! YEAH WHAT FUCKING EVER!"