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Shocker - Wes Craven 

Shocker(1989)

Rating out of 5 possible lobsters :
 

 

This isn’t quite as good as I remember from watching it in the theatre back in 1989. Wes Craven, what the hell were you thinking? Shocker is horrible!!! I think the only reason in appealed to me back in grade 9 was the fact that the soundtrack rocked... well rocked in 1989! I also can’t believe I listened to all this shit and thought it was cool!  Megadeth’s remake of No More Mr Nice Guy is an embarrassment. Long live the Coop!  And what the hell is up with the title track ‘Shocker’?!?! Sounds like someone was having their testicles shocked in the vocal both.

There’s a serial killer on the loose named Horace Pinker.  Thats the first problem... we know his name and he is ‘uncatchble and unseen’ to this point. Even though he drives a Tv Repair Van around with his name, Horace Pinker, clearly painted on the side which he drives to and from to work which also is labelled with a sign saying Horace Pinker’s TV Repair. Ok I am no cop but I would think that I would be looking for tire tracks at the crime scenes and well able to trace them back to Pinker’s work, then I would see his name all over the place and then arrest him for killing like 40 ppl. Like I said I’m not a cop and they probably too busy for those details.  It’s much more interesting when a jackass highschool football jock dreams the murders and is able to lead the police to Horace Pinker’s Tv Repair Shop.  “I didn’t know this place even existed” - Stupid Cop # 7. I guess that fills in the plot holes developed within the first 20 minutes.

So basically Horace Pinker is eventually arrested for the murder of tons of people, including the family and girl friend of the High School Football Star of the movie, Jonathan Parker. Jonathan demands going to Horace’s execution and this is where the real cheese begins!  Before he is brought to the electric chair it shows Horace calling upon the TV gods to give him ‘the power’, to which the TV God responds “You got it Baby”... I’m serious that really happens. So at this point, instead of turning the movie off and switching on the Weather Network, I continue to watch and then begins probably the longest hour of my life. Sweet Jesus... Why is this 1:45 long?!?!! Anyway... Horace gets the chair but doesn’t die.  Thanks to the powers granted to him by ‘TV’(being a repair man has it’s perks I guess), he is able to transfer himself from body to body and continue to live.  So for the rest of the movie we are treated to tons of failed attempts of making this movie interesting/violent/funny and so much more.  It fails on every level it possible can.  The worst has to be where Horace and Jonathan end up battling within TV Land... they are shown running thru Nuclear Explosion footage, passing thru news rooms and sitcoms. All of it very unfunny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do yourself a favor and never watch this movie.  Go check out Last House on the Left or something instead! A much better Wes Craven movie.
 


Henry's  Comments

  "Horace Pinker is a bitch! Watch my movie instead!"