Rating out of 5 possible lobsters :
How do you make a really bad horror movie that isn't scary? Center it around religion and hire a brainless
blonde to play the main part. That formula worked for Bless the Child and it sure works for Stigmata as well!
Man oh man! Hollywood tries once again to ruffle some religious feathers but Stigmata wouldn't even phase my
overally religious Grandmother! Patricia Arquette plays a hair dresser who becomes the Stigmata! Whoa sounds scary! She starts to suffer the same wounds and pain that Jesus himself suffered when he was crucified
many moons ago. All I want to know is how she could return to her hair dressing job having holes in her wrists
that went all the way through?!?! You would think that anyone who suffered having spikes driven through their
wrists would have some pain and discomfort. Especially a hair dresser! The movie was pretty gory but that
wasn't enough to make it any good! Everytime she suffers any wounds it's the same thing over and over again.
She's out somewhere then all of a sudden she starts flipping out and bleeding in public! Of course we had to
have the scene where Patricia Arquette talks in the Devil's tone of voice speaking some ancient language that
only high up Priests can understand! Didn't see that coming! Blah! Also can't forget about Patricia Arquette
trying to seduce the priest/scientist played by Jonathan Pryce. That is just so shocking! I will say a hundred Hail Mary's tonight!
"ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Only shocking thing here is that I stayed awake for the
1h42min run time. Patricia Arquette she's hip, she's cool...she's stigmatic! Who gives a fuck!"
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