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Stigmata(1999)

Rating out of 5 possible lobsters :
 

 

 How do you make a really bad horror movie that isn't scary? Center it around religion and hire a brainless blonde to play the main part. That formula worked for  Bless the Child and it sure works for Stigmata as well!

 Man oh man! Hollywood tries once again to ruffle some religious feathers but Stigmata wouldn't even phase my overally religious Grandmother! Patricia Arquette plays a hair dresser who becomes the Stigmata! Whoa sounds scary! She starts to suffer the same wounds and pain that Jesus himself suffered when he was crucified many moons ago. All I want to know is how she could  return to her hair dressing job having holes in her wrists that went all the way through?!?!  You would think that anyone who suffered having spikes driven through their wrists would have  some pain and discomfort. Especially a hair dresser!  The movie was pretty gory but that wasn't enough to make it any good! Everytime she suffers any wounds it's the same thing over and over again. She's out somewhere then all of a sudden she starts flipping out and bleeding in public!  Of course we had to have the scene where Patricia Arquette talks in the Devil's tone of voice  speaking some ancient language that only high up Priests can understand! Didn't see that coming! Blah! Also can't forget about Patricia Arquette trying to seduce the priest/scientist  played by Jonathan Pryce. That is just so shocking! I will say a hundred Hail Mary's tonight!

Henry's  Comments

  "ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Only shocking thing here is that I stayed awake for the 1h42min  run time. Patricia Arquette she's hip, she's cool...she's stigmatic! Who gives a fuck!"

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