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Terror Tract(2000)

Rating out of 5 possible lobsters :

 

 

"Horror Has a New Home"

Haha! This is some very cool shit! I was roaming around the ole video store last night and all of a sudden I saw a movie box with John Ritter's name written on the front! At that very moment I knew I had to see Terror Tract! Can't pass up a movie starring John Ritter. He's starred on my favorite TV show of all time(Three's Company) and he kicked serious ass in Bride of Chucky.

Ritter plays an uptight(very funny) Real Estate Agent named Bob Carter who is showing a few  houses to a newlywed couple Allen and Mary Doyle.  Every house Ritter shows them has a gruesome past and he being the honest real estate agent he is he tells  the couple the stories. The style of the movie is very much similar to Creep Show or  Tales From the Crypt. Ritter shows the couple 3 houses and each house has a 30 minute tale that comes along with it.

The first house story entitled 'Nightmare' deals with a wife named Sarah who is cheating on her husband Louis  with this dude named Frank. After a failed attempt to kill his wife and lover, Louis ends up dead and  dumped into a lake by the pair. In order for them to get rid of all the evidence that connects them to the murder they must go back into the lake to find Louis' body so they can get a set of keys out of his coat.  At this point Sarah is having horrible nightmares about Frank coming back from his watery grave as a zombie for revenge of both her and Frank. Just when she thinks her nightmare is coming true things may not be what they seem  in the end! Not a bad tale at all. Has a cool ending and some pretty good gore throughout as well!

Second story called 'Bobo' deals with a house that a happy family use to live in until one day a little cute monkey named Bobo came between a father named Ron and the rest of his family. Bobo is found by Ron's  daughter outside while playing and she instantly falls in love with the monkey and decides to keep it as a  pet. The monkey starts to get really out of hand by killing Ron's Dog Max and an Animal  Control Officer(played by Buff Bagwell haha) and really gets on Ron's bad side. At this point the tale  is just about Ron trying to kill the monkey that is loose in his house. This was one very entertaining tale  with a cool twist at the end! Easily the best tale of the three. Also has lots of the red stuff and not  to mention one bad ass little moneky named Bobo haha! Don't miss this one!

Third house story named 'Come to Granny' is about a teenager named Sean who use to live in the third house shown by Ritter. Sean had telethapy powers and could foresee the murders by a serial killer named the Killer Granny(some guy dressed in a granny rubber mask). He foresees the Killer Granny  murdering a young doctor named Helen. Sean goes to her office late one night  and tries to tell her about his powers and how he sees that she will be the Killer Granny's next victim. Once again a pretty good tale. The Granny Killer flash backs scenes were very well done and pretty shocking. Lots of the red stuff once again and yet another cool little  twist on the ending.

After the Newlyweds turn down all 3 houses because of the ghastly stories, Ritter goes ape shit ends up going after  the Doyle's with a weapon while screaming 'MAKE ME AN OFFER'!!! Funny shit! And wait until you see the  rest of neighbors as the Doyle's try to get away from Ritter. You won't believe it!

Hands down this is the coolest movie I've never heard of before. I have nothing bad to say about this movie  what so ever. The three tales and the Ritter stuff was awesome! The very beginning of the movie where  a worm is killed by a bird, who is then killed by a cat, who is then hit by Ritter's car, who is then eaten by a dog was fucking wicked! Great way too start this off the wall horror flick. Also the ending  couldn't have been anymore perfect with the whole neighborhood going insane. Hey and don't forget that Buff Bagwell is in this! That alone is reason enough to go get it... haha ok maybe not!

If you ever see this movie around make sure you pick it up!!!!!!!!!!!!

Henry's Comments

 "Bobo no like Buff Bagwell! Die die die!"