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The Cell

Rating out of 5 possible lobsters :



Just when you thought a good summer movie was coming out! Maybe if Jennifer Lopez was naked for most of the movie  it may have been good...but of course that didn't happen! I was not grossed out, disturbed or anything while watching this!  What a crock of shit! The movie was trying way too hard to be fucked up and it just wasn't working! Jennifer Lopez plays  some sort of doctor who can get into someone's mind and try to reach them. A serial killer is on the loose who drowns his victims in some sort of 'cell' and his latest victim is trapped inside his cell and the police need to find the cell so they can rescue the girl inside  before it is too late. So of course they ask Jennifer Lopez to get inside the serial killers mind and try to reach him  so he will tell her where he is keeping the girl. First of all the fact that they arrest the serial killer so fast and he doesn't put up any sort of fight is very disappointing! When Lopez goes into his mind it looks like something from Alice in Wonderland meets the latest Marilyn Manson video! Too much show and no go! The movie really didn't make any sense and most of it seemed it could have done without most of the story. And to top if off it had the typical Hollywood Ending!  They end up finding the missing girl at the last moment and save her before she drowns in the cell! How sweet! Too bad I forgot my fucking tissues at home! I could  have used them watching that predictable ending!!! Two thumbs way down!!! I knew I should have went and watched Bring It On instead!!!  Would have been some better asses to look at since you couldn't even see Lopez's except for one quick scene near the beginning!

Henry's Comments

 "This guy calls himself a serial killer? Bring it on Bitch! One round is all I need Mutha Fucker!!!"